Always will be.

Believe me, there are some things I'd like to forget. But the more I try to wipe them away, the more they pop into my mind. You know what it's like when you're tying to fall asleep and it makes you more wide awake? It's the same thing. I can't figure it out. I remember things I couldn't possible have known. Sometimes it worries me, remembering the past in so much detail ~ 

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE ROOM FOR WHAT'S NEXT TO COME? ~ 

PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND A GOOD MAN, BUT THESE DAYS IT'S HARD TO EVEN FIND A GOOD PERSON. IT'S SO HARD TO FIND A PERSON TO TALK TO; SOMEONE WHO WILL JUST LISTEN AND NOT JUDGE...

SOMEONE WHO WILL JUST TAKE YOU AS YOU ARE. :(

Thoughts of You Put Me to Sleep ♥

Life is a Journey. We're All Going Somewhere, But Where are We Going?

Today is Friday and we had our new lecturer for our Pharmacology review. I must admit, it wasn't as fun as the previous days. This was the first time I actually slept during some parts of the review and didn't bother to take down notes @.@ As I looked at my other classmates, they were dozing off already... Hahaha. What a sight to see.

Well on the brighter side, I actually started writing about my different experience this morning. It wasn't some big event; it was just an ordinary just-like-any-other kind of day but I took it in a different perspective. I found it surprising I was already scribbling down sentences at the last page of my notebook. Out of boredom, I guess. But what I wrote was more of a curious thought, a realization, I would say.

Earlier today, I got out of bed at 6:20 A.M and was running ten minutes late for my 7 AM-review. I was alone in the taxi and as I was staring blankly out the windows into the moving space, patiently waiting to arrive at my destination, I fixed my gaze to the people around. At past 7 in the morning, I've witnessed people, various types of people each living different lives, already up for the day's challenge.

I saw a nurse walking briskly and hurriedly, as if looking stressed and lacking sleep, on her way to the hospital. "Will she be late for her early morning shift?" I thought. And then I saw a woman in her mid-40's in a corporate business-looking attire, walking so calmly and seems to be enjoying the first start of the day. "She must be looking forward to something positive and beautiful today", I uttered. And then my eyes were set on the next group of young ladies crossing the street, sporting their casual and some semi-formal outfits carrying with them bundles of folders and envelopes. The first thing that came to mind was that they were probably holding their resumes intact, about to apply for jobs that might change their lives forever. But amidst all those that I saw, I was particularly moved by the sight of the street children and beggars sleeping along the corners of the street in the rusty downtown, in boxes and newspapers laid out on the ground. In that instance, I felt nothing but sadness and pity for these people, especially the young ones who should have a lot going on for them. I tried to ask and answer my own questions, 

"What does life has in store for them?", "Will they ever be given the chance to realize their destiny?"

Minutes after, I didn't realize I was already at my destination. It was time to go out. For that moment, time seemed to stop and I was able to look around and merely witness people leading on their lives. And then again, I can't help myself but ask, 

  "Do these people really know where they are going? And if so, is it the kind of life they truly want?" 

Years from now, I might be one of those people... I can be the haggard-looking pharmacist as I'm on my way to hospital duty, or I can be the relaxed corporate worker walking early in the morning, smiling with a cup of coffee in my hand... Or I could still be one of those ladies on the way for a job application and interview, perhaps as a writer (since this has always been my number two dream). I could be all of those in the future. But I hope that when that time comes, and wherever, whatever and whoever I may be, I'll be able to look back and answer my own questions then, without a single doubt. I hope by that time, I'll have the courage to say "I am definite that this is just the kind of life I want and the life that has been planned for me." And I hope... I'll be nothing but HAPPY. :)